


Christmas Eve

by candygirl_21



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ballum Christmas (Eastenders), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21850426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candygirl_21/pseuds/candygirl_21
Summary: Something has been bothering Callum. Is he finally ready to open up to Ben?
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Kudos: 72





	Christmas Eve

**Author's Note:**

> My first Ballum fic! Let me know what you think :)

They both lay panting staring up at the ceiling. Callum could feel the sweat drying on his skin, and it felt uncomfortable, but he couldn’t be bothered to move just yet. It still shocked him that he could feel that good, that Ben could make him feel that way. Fear had made him miss out on this his entire life. No more.

Ben was eerily quiet, so Callum turned to look at him and met light blue eyes.

“You ok?” Callum said, more to break the silence than anything else.

“Yeah” grunted Ben without losing eye contact, a little smile appearing on his face afterwards.

Callum turned his whole body towards Ben as best he could in the double bed that was too small for him to feel entirely comfortable. He’d gotten used to his feet sticking out at the bottom of the sheets. He brought his hand up to Ben’s face to stroke at his stubble. Ben mewled into the touch and turned his head to kiss Callum’s palm. The gesture made Callum’s heart skip a beat. He felt so lucky to have Ben in his life. He hoped this was coming across in the way he was looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” asked Ben, a worried crinkle appearing between his eyebrows.

Callum exhaled loudly. He had been thinking about today for a long time. He hated Christmas Eve. There was always a dark cloud hanging over him on the run up to the day. Whitney never seemed to notice but this year he had caught Ben side eyeing him during quiet moments and he knew he suspected something was off.  
Ben was searching his face for an answer. He didn’t want to keep it from him.

“I hate Christmas Eve.” 

Ben looked a little confused before replying. “Oh. Erm…how come?”

Callum fell back onto his pillow and returned his eyes to the ceiling. It was easier not to look at Ben whilst he explained but knew he was being watched intently.

“I was 8 years old. I was in the house on my own. My dad had gone to the pub and Stuart was supposed to be looking after me. Mick came to knock on and they talked at the door for a bit. He told him he had to look after me but after a bit of convincing from Mick he came to tell me to stay put. I asked him where he was going but he wouldn’t tell me, just told me to watch my cartoons and stay inside. I did as he said. There wasn’t much to do apart from watch tv anyway. I remember being hungry, so I went into the kitchen to look for something to eat. The fridge was full of booze and not much else, so I moved on to the bread bin. There were a few slices left so I folded them and ate them dry. Stuart had been gone a while so when I heard the door open, I thought it was him. I was excited cos he’d usually bring some food with him if he went out in the afternoon- a pizza to share, some chicken wings or bag of chips with lots of vinegar, just how I liked them. But it wasn’t him.”

Callum took the opportunity to look across at Ben. His eyes looked glassy and he swallowed before asking “what happened?”

“It was dad. He was swaying where he stood in the doorway and he didn’t seem to be focussing on me properly. I knew he was drunk. He stumbled past me without saying hello and went straight to the fridge. He grabbed a can then went further into the kitchen. I remember going to close the front door cos he’d left it open and I jumped cos I heard something smash in the kitchen. He sounded like he was wrecking the place, but it turns out he was looking for something to eat.”

Callum mimicked Jonno’s voice: “’Boy, boy! Where’s the bread?’” He came in to view in the kitchen doorway, but he didn’t seem that drunk anymore. His face had changed. He looked furious.

‘I know for a fact I left some bread in there this morning, so where is it, eh?’  
He was moving towards me and all I could do was watch. It was as if it was slow motion, but it couldn’t’ve been cos the next second, he’d grabbed the front of my t-shirt and started shouting in my face.  
‘Where is it? I said, where is it?’ He was shaking me, and I just remember being frozen in terror. My mouth was open, but nothing came out.”

Callum took a deep breath and looked back up at the ceiling.

“The next thing I knew I was thrown to the other side of the room by the sheer force of the slap he gave to my face. I’d never felt pain like it. My face felt hot and I couldn’t see properly because of the tears stinging my eyes. They stung my cheek too, where he’d hit me.  
I stayed on the ground and cried for a while. He left me there. Didn’t ask if I was alright or come to apologise or anything. Eventually I got up and went to my room. He didn’t bother me again although I heard him every so often shouting at the TV. When Stuart eventually came home, I heard them arguing downstairs. I laid on my bed trying to make out the words, but it was all muffled. When Stuart came upstairs, he looked annoyed but thankfully he had brought a pizza with him. I don’t think I’ve eaten anything so quickly in my life! Burnt my tongue a little!”

Callum smiled and looked over at Ben who didn’t return the gesture. He looked up at Callum and a tear escaped down his cheek. Callum quickly went to wipe it and cup his face with his hand.

“I can’t believe that happened to you.” 

Callum looked away. “I know. The next day was Christmas and he didn’t speak to me. I didn’t have any presents that year, so I pretty much just spent the whole day in front of the TV again. I remember hating school holidays when I was younger. I was always so bored when my dad was drinking ‘cos he’d never let me play out. Every so often he’d try to give up the booze. He was like a proper dad then. Almost made up for all the times he hurt us.”

Callum drifted off. 

“But not quite, eh?”

Callum’s eyes drifted back to Ben’s. “No, not quite.”

“So that’s why you have been in a world of your own for the last couple of weeks then, eh?”

“I knew you’d noticed. I’m sorry.”

Ben sat up and leaned against the headrest. When he spoke, his voice was soft but determined.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about babe. I was just worried. I figured something was wrong, but I didn’t wanna crowd you or try to force it out of you. I figured you’d tell me eventually.”

Callum smiled up at Ben as he leaned in for a chaste kiss.

“Look, I know you have bad memories, but I promise you, this year is going to be different. Me and you, we’re gonna spend it together and I’m gonna make it magical, the best Christmas ever, I swear babe.”

Callum looked up at Ben and saw the sincerity and excitement in his eyes. He sat up and pulled him in for another kiss, this one a little less chaste. There was something he wanted to say to Ben, something he had been thinking for a few weeks now. But it could wait a little longer…


End file.
